Roy Moore vs Doug Jones: The Home Stretch/Russia

Well, it’s election day. Someone’s going to be calling his mama later tonight.

It’s very difficult to say who will win the only Senate race in recent memory that has so captured public attention. Doug Jones would certainly be bucking a trend, that’s for sure. He would be turning about a quarter century of voting history on its head, since the pattern is that Senatorial candidates typically don’t succeed in states which have voted for the presidential nominee of the opposite party. But that doesn’t mean his chances in the current context are slim. Roy Moore was a controversial candidate long before the fleece of sexual misconduct was placed on his shoulders.

  • Dishonorable Discharge

For starters, Roy Moore has been booted from the Alabama Supreme Court bench twice for being a shit-starting firebrand. Not one to follow orders from the federal government, he’s well, not followed them, and has been booted twice.

  • Theocracy, here we come!

Roy Moore isn’t just off his rocker, he wants the government to be off its rocker too (well, it already is). Essentially, Moore wants to turn the United States government into a theocracy. But what kind of theocracy? One where we all worship Putin? See below.

  • Another Puppet for Russia? 

The fiery Republican also suggested that “Putin is right” about same-sex marriage. It’s a fucked up position to argue, but why even invoke Mr. Putin? To crush two conservative eggs for the price of one.

More as it develops!

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