Will Roy Moore Win Alabama?

Despite several women coming forward and accusing Roy Moore of being an extreme pervert (my wording, and possibly that of others, I don’t know, I haven’t scoured the entirety of the internet), it’s still highly possible, even probable, that the “local firebrand born amid fierce saber-rattling” will take the Alabama ticket. What a shame. American politics was having such a good run.

I doubt Doug Jones, mild-mannered, and placenta-filled though he his, will take the state. Seeing how his mild-mannered-ness  is akin to marshmallow-stuffed sweet potatoes, it seems he won’t have the energy to galvanize the Democrats or take advantage of indecisive Republicans (are there any indecisive Republicans in Alabama?) It’s a highly evangelical state, so Roy Moore’s brand of religious goop is much more palatable to the masses down there than Doug Jones and his pro-life stance, which seems to me is the hot-button issue that keeps anemic Republicans from switching sides.

Not to mention, Mitch McConnell walked back across the bridge of actually taking a stand on something, saying that the voters of Alabama should decide. Well, that was helpful, he might as well not have said anything at all. Rewind, cut the film footage. Next scenario: Rewind, cut the film footage. I didn’t say that. Oh, but you did, and Roy Moore touched those women as sure as the good book will prop up the state of Alabama for the next century.


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