A Wasteland President, Part 1

“Today did an excellent job. But what about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is cancelled, sir.”
“Cancelled? What do you mean cancelled?”
“It’s just gone, sir.”
“Well, what do you we do now? There’s nothing down here. No enemies, no friends. Nothin’. Just us.”
“Just us, sir.”
“…Just us. Hmm. Do you think anyone is alive up there? Anyone worth talking to?”
“Anyone left up there will be heavily irradiated. It’d be very depressing to watch, sir. They might even ask you for money.”
“I can watch money burn. Why would I give it do them?”
“Precisely, sir. And more to the point, you couldn’t even explain to them that money is pointless in this new world.”
“That sounded poetic. You know what? You’re hired.”
“I know, sir. You’ve fired me a bunch of times already. Then hired me again. I quit. Things don’t look like they will improve.”

[secret service agent, the last of his kind, removes himself from this post-nuclear world]

“What do I do now? Well, that’s a good question. I hire the question. It will do an excellent job.”

[Trump steals rapidly depleting body heat from the dead secret service agent. It’s getting cold down here]

 

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